Life in Florida ⛅ by Thomas Sanders
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Call me selfish all you want, but you see, that’s the thing… I am being selfish, and you know what? I deserve to be. I’ve spent so much time and effort trying to be who everyone else wants me to, and caring about everything else besides my own mental health, and I’ve finally decided now to take control of my own life and people ate threatened by that I guess. But I need to find myself, I wasted so much time trying and helping people who didn’t appreciate it find themselves when it was me who was lost. And now I am focusing on myself and my happiness. Im sorry I don’t feel the need to explain myself to anyone, a close friend of mine told me “you’re the one living every moment of your life. noone else will TRULY care. we’ll pity. maybe feel sympathy. but we wont understand” I don’t feel the need to tell every single person everything that’s going wrong, and everyone just thinks I’m overreacting but it’s like you guys don’t even know the half of it so who are you to belittle my struggles? I know myself. And I know my worth. And God dammit I want to know genuine happiness and I’m fucking trying so hard but everyone just keeps trying to keep me down. And it’s getting to the point where it’s pissing me off and I’m just cutting people off. I have to focus on myself and my happiness and if you’re not going to be a part of it then so be it. Literally all I’m concerned with is working my ass off to keep my new management position making that monayyy and keeping myself sane. I’m just minding my own damn business. And you know, that includes lots of sleep and pot smoking, and I absolutely love being home in our cute little apartment so distancing myself from everyone is easy, but no one is taking it well especially my mother. I’d say I’ve been feeling pretty decent lately but now that I’m starting to focus on myself and not leave my house or talk to anyone as much everyone wants something from me. Where were all of you a few months ago when I needed a friend? I’ve always been the one who people vented to but never the one venting and I love helping people it’s why I’m a psych major but sometimes I just want someone to help me, and i waited and waited for help until eventually no one came to my rescue so now I’m rescuing my damn self. So yes I am being selfish. And after many years of hating myself I think I fucking deserve to be.
if artistic people are forced to take years of math and science then why don’t sciencey people have to take art and music classes
someone found a real life plot hole
boom bitch
And if you’re “bad” at art and music, then “it’s okay, not everyone has an aptitude for those kinds of things” but if you’re bad at math and science, then “you’re not smart/you’re not trying hard enough”
LET YOUR ART BE UGLY!!! LET YOUR WRITING BE BAD!!! DANCE OFFBEAT!!! SING OFF KEY!!! LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO LET YOUR FEAR OF NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH PREVENT YOU FROM LEARNING AND ENJOYING NEW THINGS!!!
You said your life was a mess but I disagree. You’re a walking piece of art.
he looked like a masterpiece by jwfeelings (via jwfeelings)
waiting around to go bowling 🎳
me @ very talkative cats: i love you so much. please continue your story. tell me about your day. i love you
College rant
I’m starting to realize that college might not be for everyone. I think I peaked academically in high school. How did I go from having a 4.2 GPA in high school to having a below average GPA in college? I know I’m smart, I know I’m capable, but what I lack is the proper motivation because I feel like I’m just wasting time. I fucking hate college. Learning is the fun part. Expanding my knowledge is great.. But with modern technology guess what, I can still do that without going to college. But the homework the tests the professors the stress the gas having to fucking drive there the money it costs for textbooks the emotional toll it takes on your mind and the physical toll it’s takes on your body stressing not eating right not sleeping regularly.. Like is this shit even worth it to end up with some degree that probably won’t even get you a job in the end anyways? To end up working a 9-5 for the rest of my life to stay alive? Like there’s 9-5 jobs I can get now without a degree and it’s the same shit, so why waste my time in college when I can try to get a regular 9-5 now? That seems like more of a head start in life than fucking wasting time in college does. I’ve been going for 2 years and haven’t even accomplished anything because I don’t know what I want to do with the rest of my life. Does any of it really matter anyways? Why the fuck do I have to graduate college to be successful? Oh wait, I don’t? There’s plenty of people out there who made their own success? Then why is the notion of a college student dropping out for the reason I would considered a bad thing? My parents would probably be so disappointed in me, thinking that I’m just being lazy, but that’s not it. I don’t lack motivation because I’m lazy. I’m not motivated because my eyes are open and I realize that this is not the right path for me, as it isn’t for many. I’m not going to let some predetermined path be led for me, I’m going to lead my own fucking path and probably get lost along the way a few times. But isn’t that what life is fucking for? I mean thinking about it individual life is so cosmically meaningless, so why not live a little? I mean it’s totally cliche but I only have one life, im going to live it how i want, not the how the government wants me to, not my parents, not the school system, me. I don’t think I need to go to college to lead a healthy successful happy life. I just don’t. I don’t want to waste my twenties being stressed about school and then be finally done with it by the time I’m fucking 30, then I would have wasted my prime living young years on fucking school. (I wanted to study nursing, which takes on avg 10+ years to get somewhere with it) and then stress about that job.. I don’t want to end up in routine with life, where you go to public school for 12/13 years, then college for 10+ years, then maybe work at what you studied for the rest of your life… idk. I’m a free soul, I want to live spontaneous and be free and just live as the days go. I don’t want to end up like that “dying” poem I’m sure everyone has seen by now. College just doesn’t seem as important to me as it is to others. And that’s why everyone is different and we all lead different lives. I think after this semester I’m done… And so many people are probably going to judge me for that. But I am a grown adult, I think I can make my own decisions about my own life. This is a breakthrough for me, I’ve been so generally unhappy with my life lately and I think that this is the next stepping stone towards moving forward, and everyone who tells me dropping out of college is a step back can suck my ass. You don’t know me or what goes on in my brain. I believe this is a turning point for me. All I want is to be happy, and figuring out this mess has really opened my eyes. Maybe it seems so minuscule for others, but it’s a huge relief off my back, and I just had to write it all down somewhere.
psycho-witha-blog